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A Change in Accountability

  • Oct. 10th, 2007 at 10:51 PM
Hope
 For over a year now I've been thinking on whether or not I should continue to rely on my accountability partner. Sometime between May and July of 2006 he "handed me over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of our Lord." (1 Cor. 5:5), after I told him about my first party experience in which I drank. I was excitedly explaining to him how awesome it was just to be in the relaxed, talkative atmosphere that moderate drinking provides, and about an awesome opportunity I took to share the Gospel to a listening ear. Before I had gotten in to the simple pleasantry of the effects of responsible drinking, or the troublesome effects of those who did not drink responsibly, he cut me off and demanded that I never drink alcohol ever again. He quickly became extremely passionate, and I was pretty shocked. I tried to defend myself with reasonable verses and aspects of Scripture but that seemed to turn him venemous. Soon he hung up, and I did not hear from him again until the end of September (alot happened in that time period), at which point he apologized for the way he handled the situation. He said that we should continue to be accountability partners but that we should avoid any discussion related to alcohol.


It was awesome to be back in contact with one of my closest friends, and, on top of that, to be back in accountability, because I really needed it! During the time for which he estranged me, I made a steadfast committment to not give up on our being accountability partners. It was clear that God had hand-picked us for each other as accountability partners- we complimented each other in so many ways, and God revealed a great many things to us as we worked together for Christ-likeness. I likened the experience to a marriage undergoing hard times (I am pretty extreme on my views of marital commitment), and so I got to build my character and recieve tremendous joy when we finally were reconciled. However, he never got back into the routine of answering-his-phone/ calling-me-back that he had upheld before the Drinking Incident. In the last year there have been several one-week periods where we have got to continuously keep each accountable, getting a conversation in for 3 or 4 nights of the week. But those have been very few, probably no more than 3. Outside of that it is has mostly been periods of a month or more with no response, regardless of how many voice mails/ e-mails I've sent (I've tried everything from none to daily).

I've decided to not to view our bonds as accountability partners as sacred as those between husband and wife. I don't think it would best to rely on him anymore, for accountibility, and I do not view myself as committing divorce in the process. It brings me great sorrow to think that the awesome revelations and encouragement that we shared is all in the past now. On the bright side, perhaps the end of our accountability will allow him to comfortably re-approach our friendship, because I dearly miss his friendship and despise the fact that guilt over poor accountability is compromising it.

So, today I called a close friend to see if he had an accountability group these days. That's right, "group." I think I want to try a group this time, not just a 1-on-1 accountability. But, this entry has become quite long enough, so I can expand on that in the future. Anyway, this is basically what he said in reply, "No, I really don't, but I call various people at various times about various things." ;)

The Peace of Christ to You,
Jake

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