Here I am at my assigned US Army base outside of Mosul, Iraq. The place is very well developed, having seen years of service as a platform for coalition forces' operations. The creature comforts are greatly more plentiful than I expected, and extremely more than what we trained for. A reasonably quick internet connection (hardline or wireless) is almost always available and only costs about $80. Local merchants have permanent shops on base, in one of which I bought a decent acoustic guitar. Phones are in multiple places, if you're willing to pay a mere $25 for 10 hours. The dining facility is incredible... way better than any I ever had on any stateside base (I've worked at 6 of them.) My room is in a building (not a tent), is quite spacious, and is shared with an excellent roommate (Luke). As far as location goes, it's about a 30-foot walk from my building's front door to that of my clinic. Yeah, it's pretty easy to get settled and happy here. This could be problematic.

The constant gunfire outside the base and the loss of life (we've lost a guy after being here less than 2 weeks), are staunch reminders that this is a war (and that there's no telling how many civilians are dying because of it.) Being here is bizarre. I'm glad to be here to offer medical aid to anyone in need, but I despise the military through which I am able to offer it. I want to rip off my uniform and melt my weapon down. I decided to submit to the long official processing of applying for conscientious objection, to work with the system as much as possible instead of taking every opportunity possible to protest its existence (which could easily lead me to jail, which could be a very important experience). So I'm limbo... but even when the process is over, and if I succeed and they relieve me of my rifle, I'll still be uneasy remaining such a close affiliate of the military. Alas... compromise, that which is so essential for effect and yet so unsatisfying as an end. I wonder what my role will be in war protest when I'm no longer on contract to serve the military... taxes will perhaps be my longest lever.

Anyway, I'm not much doing any treatment for patients, because I myself am a patient! I've already got a case of pneumonia. A lot of people have died of pneumonia, especially before modern medicine. What a gift it is to live in this age.

 Well. it looks like my flight to Kuwait will be next week.  There my unit will acclimatize, undergo some routine training, and prepare for the drive northward through most of Iraq, to our assigned base.  Mine is a medical company, so, hopefully, we won't have much work to do... but we probably will, especially towards the end of the 12-month deployment.  One of our big responsibilities will be to pack the base up and close her down as we leave.  I'm very excited about that!

I finally turned in my packet for non-combatant status on Thursday.  So, I will not be leaving this country with a weapon to my name, save for one utility knife and one rescue tool.  I bought the full version of Rosetta Stone Arabic, but my CD drive has a CD stuck in it, so I am going to try to buy an external DVD-writer to do the trick.

It will be interesting to see what music I crave in the desert, so I'll be resetting my iTunes playlist.  Therefore, here's my 25 Most Played Songs since I don't know how long ago...

1st at a play count of 47 is... Don't Be Afraid performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra, composed by Nobuo Uematsu, from the album 20020220: Music from Final Fantasy

Tied for 2nd at a play count of 40 are... Virgin and Child by Iona, from the album Book of Kells
and... The Kiss by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

4th at a play count of 39 is... Terra's Theme performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra, composed by Nobuo Uematsu, from the album 20020220: Music from Final Fantasy

Tied for 5th at a play count of 38 are... Inside My Heart by Iona, from the album Journey Into the Morn
and... Yahweh by U2, from the album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

Tied for 7th at a play count of 36 are... Irish Day by Iona, from the album Journey Into the Morn
and... Elk Hunt by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
and... The Glade Part II by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Tied for 10th at a play count of 35 are... The River by Anathallo, from the album Canopy Glow
and... Main Title by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

12th place at a play count of 34 is... Calling Out Your Name by Rich Mullins, from the album The World As Best As I Can Remember It, Vol. 1

13th place at a play count of 33 is... All the First Pages by Anathallo, from the album Canopy Glow

14th place at a play count of 32 is... Crumbs from Your Table by U2, from the album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

Tied for 15th at a play count of 31 are... Luke - The Calf by Iona, from the album Book of Kells
and... Aeris' Theme performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra, composed by Nobuo Uematsu, from the album 20020220: Music from Final Fantasy

17th place at a play count of 30 is... Cora by Randy Edelman, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

18th place at a play count of 29 is... Fort Battle by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

19th place at a play count of 27 is... Heaven's Bright Sun by Iona, from the album Journey Into the Morn

20th place at a play count of 26 is... CIty of Blinding Lights by U2, from the album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

Tied for 21st place at a play count of 25 are... Waiting by Rich Mullins, from the album The World As Best As I Can Remember It, Vol. 2
and... Promontory by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Tied for 23rd place at a play count of 24 are... Wisdom by Iona, from the album Journey Into the Morn
and... Munro's Office/ Stockade by Trevor Jones, from The Last of the Mohicans Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
and... Theme of Love performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra, composed by Nobuo Uematsu, from the album 20020220: Music from Final Fantasy

I have returned once again, from a long LJ fast.  I'm still in the army, and I changed my application for conscientious objector status.  Now I'm simply applying for non-combative status, meaning that I would continue to do my medical job, but would no longer train, carry, or deal with weapons or munitions.  I accept the occasional need for violence with a heavy heart, but I have virtually no faith in my country's military to govern the matter justly.

In about ten days I'm taking sixteen days of vacation.  Shortly after that my unit will be deploying to Iraq for twelve months.  Hopefully there will be no business in the field of emergency medicine, but I'm not so naive.  Given such business, however, I'm really glad for the opportunity to put in my hands and mend what I might.  I think of myself as an anti-war agent within the military.  It's not a perfect position; conflict abounds.  Yet it seems like the most prudent compromise at this point.

Blessings,
Jake

I am applying for a discharge out of the United States Army.  The application asks 6 questions, concerning the make-up of one's acquired beliefs.  I will be posting them in portions.

First of all, army regulations define conscientious objection:

• Members of the military who develop a "firm, fixed, and sincere objection to participation in war in any form or the bearing of arms,"1 based on moral, ethical, or religious beliefs, are entitled to discharge from the military or transfer to non-combatant status. A conscientious objector must meet three criteria:
• you must object to participation in war in any form;
• you must base your objection on "religious training and belief" (which can include moral or ethical training and belief) that "crystallized" after you entered the military; and
• you must demonstrate that your position is "sincere and deeply held."

Here's the 1st of those 6 questions...

 A description of the nature of the belief that requires the person to seek separation from the military service or assignment to noncombatant training and duty for reasons of conscience.

 

My soul belongs to Jesus Christ, and the proclamation of His Gospel, in word and deed.  That Gospel, for which I invest my entire life, is one of God's unconditional Grace, for the souls of all people.  To kill someone is to quite possibly rob him or her of the Gospel, as the deed of violence will cut short future opportunities to experience and embrace It, should it not yet be, besides possibly compromising the victim's immediate and final (and thus critical) perception of Its availability.  Thus, fatal acts are often dominations of God's own mercy and the eternal soul of another.  Appropriately, then, I take the act of killing intensely serious; the decision to kill, even for the most objectively merciful reasons, may seal a fellow human-being into misery for the rest of Eternity, besides setting oneself before the wrath of that human's Creator.  In any situation where this is in any way avoidable, I cannot tolerate it.

Having established the seriousness with which I approach the act of killing, I can no longer participate in the military, or war, in any form, because they require killing on demand.  This is problematic to the point of being irresolvable, because a military command, or a pressure of war, to kill is, by no means, necessarily possessing the extreme moral justification that I absolutely require.  Thus, it is ethically irresponsible for me to further allow myself to stay under the command of any military, or within the participation of any war, in any form.

Yours,
Jake

 Okay, so I've reflected on the past year at length... now it's time to come up with some resolutions for the new'n.

1.  Spend 1-on-1 prayer time with God more often
2.  Read the Scriptures more often, with occasional long reads, like I used to have
3.  Love the people in my day-in, day-out life with more expression, gratitude, warmth, selflessness, and listening
4.  Continue to wait for love, but more sincerely, with more celebration, productivity, and self-control
5.  Pay more attention to the old, the poor, and the afflicted
6.  Research current military/ political events, discern if I should really be in the US military or not, and act accordingly
7.  Pick the guitar up again and get back to playing in church, and on to playing in night life establishments and care-taking facilities
8.  ...Likewise with the piano
9.  Get involved in the local church again
10.  Learn from the calligraphy set my parents bought me several years ago
11.  At least double all of the groundwork I've achieved on my video game
12.  Read more, or at least more carefully
13.  Get in the best physical shape of my life- cardiovascular endurance, muscular strength, flexibility, nutritious diet
14.  Get an article published somewhere- in a newspaper, in a magazine... somewhere
15.  Worry less, but trust God more achingly

His Peace,
Jake

 Well friends, 2008 has drawn to a close.  I recall the year...  In January I finally gave up my 2nd, weak attempt at La Grange Presbyterian Church staff youth ministry (the first attempt, at Covenant Church, was actually quite successful), which had started back in the Fall of '06.  I pretty much stopped playing guitar in 2008.  As soon as I quit the church gig I took a break from it just because I could; I had kept myself in an exhausting performance schedule at church.  That month turned into two, I think, and I didn't really get back into it as consistently as I had been.  When I left for Medic training, in August, I left the guitar in Louisville, with Randalf, since I knew I wouldn't have anywhere to keep it at Ft. Sam Houston.  Randalf left for France shortly after I left, and he left the guitar in the care of Zay, who I never did go see on my two-week Christmas vacation.  And so, the guitar is still in Louisville, and I'll have to pick it up at a later date (I do, however, have my classical guitar with me, but I won't be able to play it until it's restrung).

 

As 2008 started, I had just moved into Apt 5 at Westbury Harbor, with D-Rock and J-Town.  Zay would arrive later in the month.  Continuing to live with D-Rock was a huge blessing.  We continued to periodically stay up all night talking.  We continued having an easy time approaching each other about all of our spiritual issues (at last, as far I am concerned I spoke everything that concerned me... I guess I can't speak for another).  Ha! D-Rock, J-Town, and I continued to try to make apartment devotionals happen, but we never had one Bible study (although I remember at least one considerable counseling/prayer session)!  Justin continued to demonstrate himself as a superb source of humor.  J-Town, Zay, and I played quite a bit of Super Smash Brothers Melee, and we tried that blessed, old game, Magic:  The Gathering... but, as great as our intentions were, it just didn't work out.  I saw Zay more than anyone else (he had such a stable schedule...) and we watched a lot of stupid TV shows together.  The shows were often regrettable, the time with Zay not so much.

 

For about the last month, Randalf, my brother's old buddy from college and France, lived with us.  Randalf was screwed out of his original housing plan, and we were more than happy to take him (we didn't know him, but whatever, right?)  J-Town had gone home for the summer, but Zay, D-Rock, and I immediately became comfortable with Randalf.  He had concerns coming in, because he knew from my brother that D-Rock and myself are Jesus people, and Randalf is a staunch atheist.  However, throughout the course of his short stay, he noted how agreeable and pleasant of a group we are, especially for being Christians.  Like many, Randalf had had an overwhelming poor experience with Christians, and he was refreshed to be with some guys who intellectually wrestled with their faith, didn't seek the easy route in the junction of religion and actual living, and derived from their faith a personality of love much more than one of judgement.  He said he was astonished to find himself happily living with passionate Christians.  And we loved being with him too- he challenged our faith in helpful ways, loved us like brothers, and simply shared his generally uplifting views on life.

 

The Hollands came over with some regularity, and I found myself happy for it.  I'm glad I got a good half year of peace with them, after the drama we experienced in 2007.  D-Boy was over often, and I continued to refer to her as "the 5th roommate."  But I love it and wished she was over more.  D-Rock, D-Boy and I continued to express to each other our joy at the thought of us all continuing to live together once they are married.  She got through a lot of good, difficult nursing classes in 2008.

 

I worked at the daycare, Kid's Haven By Sandy, just a little bit into the year before I quit (that was such a depressing job... I mean, I loved the kids, and they had a terrific capacity to learn, but they deserved so much more than what one daycare worker could divide amongst them).  I was back to part-time work there, and I no longer worked at the church, so there was no longer a benefit to driving all the way out to Oldham County for work.  I next worked my 2nd job as a waiter at Fox & Hound Grille & Pub.  It was fun and I was paid well.  I got a decent leg work-out most shifts, and none of the stress came home (unlike at church and the daycare).  I eventually quit, however, in protest of the way big business restaurants work.  I left Fox & Hound for local-to-Louisville Mediterranean Grill, Shiraz.  I didn't always get full-time hours every week, and the pay was only $7/hour, but I got free food every shift, and it was good food that I actually wanted to promote.  At some point, I left for Fort Knox, for two weeks, for my annual training.  Patterson was also on duty for those two weeks, and we had good times together.

 

It was there at Fort Knox that my eHarmony account first came to fruition.  Mary and I burned through messages as soon as we were matched.  By the time I got home we were talking on the phone... one conversation was over 5 hours.  She definately intrigued me, and it was intoxicating to actually have some one as interested in me as I was in her.  Because I had decided to re-enlist, and would be leaving for long-term training very soon, we decided I should rent a car and get out to West Virginia to meet her.  It was an awesome weekend... it turned out we don't really have romantic chemistry, but she is nonetheless a fascinating person and a good friend... and the trip was adventurous and a good step for me, romantically.  We haven't talked much since then... some but not much... I hope to better that this year.

 

And then all too soon I was off to Fort Sam Houston, in San Antonio, Texas, for the United States Army Combat Medic School.  That experience deserves its own entry, which I need to pen soon...

 

One thing from medic school I will note is being matched with Keilah, from Houston.  Our online correspondence was slow, and I was really impressed with her.  When I had been trying it out with Mary I had been out of romance for so long that I was hardly perceptive of any shortcomings.  Now I had been freshly wizened, and, even so, Keilah blew me away immediately and increasingly.  When we started talking on the phone I really fell for her.  I've written about her in previous entries, and I could write about her forever here, so I'll just move along now...

 

After glorious graduation, Clint and I drove his car home (1,000 miles in one day, suckahs), and I reveled in the comforts for two weeks.  With some down payment help from the fam, I was able to buy a 2004 Honda Civic LX with only 78k miles!  After a few days I was feeling the name, "Eustice" for him.  For about 4 of those vacation days, I visited Dru at his grandmother's house in Gas City, IN (practically Canada), along with Kippo & D-Rock.  Christmas Eve was wonderful... I went to a Saint John United Methodist service for the first time in two years (?!), and got to play party games with the fam and the Hays.  Late Christmas night I packed and left the next day before noon.

 

Since then I've been hanging around at the reception company, here at the 3rd Infantry Division, at Fort Stewart, Georgia.  I should be here for about another week before I get to my actual unit.  I'm getting a lot of good reading, gaming, and film viewing done.

 

It's been a good year, full of change.  And everyone who knows me knows that I live off of change...

 

His Peace,

Jake

Man alive!  This training is flying by!  I'm getting very close to the end, and things are getting downright fun- today we practiced taking blood samples from each other.  Tomorrow we try sticking IV's.  Yesterday we practiced surgically slicing open mannequin throats, and inserting airway adjuncts.  This is good stuff!

 

I'm feeling more confident about providing tactical life-saving care, everyday.  And the feeling seems to be mutually arising in most of the other students as well.  I'm really pumped up to go overseas and do my part in relieving our Iraq vets, and doing whatever I can to sow peace for the Iraqi people.  I've been assigned to the 3rd Infantry Division, stationed at Ft. Stewart, Georgia.  So... from, what I understand we should be going to Iraq soon... March or April, I've heard.

 

So, once I get out of training in December (Lord willing!), I need to get reading on my Koran, and I need to get some more educative resources on Iraq... I know so little... there's always so much to learn in this beautiful, fragile, short, pre-eternal life...

 

the reader has my love

&

His Peace,

Jake 

 This morning I ran in a 28-person 5K team for the 28th Annual Solider Medic Run, here at Ft. Sam.  We ran in formation, with a leader running along the side, leading us in cadences (songs).  We had been practicing for over a month, and I don't think we really showed it!  But that's fine- it was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed being one of the few who ran out as a singing leader for a while.  It didn't feel long enough to be 5K, though...  We were judged not by speed, but by the tightness of our formation, the tightness of our running rhythm (everyone's left foot hitting the ground at the same time), and how loud we were "sounding off" (singing).  I was amused by my teammates, who were appalled and in utter disbelief that we didn't get 1st, 2nd or even 3rd, among 8 or so competing teams, throughout the brigade.  I said, "Well, we weren't loud (my voice was hoarse and broken, and I, sadly, may well have been the loudest one), we got out of step at times, and we weren't completely tight in formation (although we were pretty good there)."  The funny part is how typically soldiers 1) don't see any fault in their performance, and 2) don't give any credit to competing units.  Humility, anyone?

 

It was a great morning though.  Private Bednov, a fascinating Russian-born Jew, and I spoke at length about our desire to get into something hardcore, like a Ranger or Special Forces unit... if we can really leave it behind when our military careers are done.  Once you get that elite, we're not sure if you're able to get away... can they call you up 10 tens years after you get out for some sensitive mission they feel they need/want you for?  Neither of us want to be haunted by the military, but we do want to be the best we can be, while we're in.

 

He also told me I should join him when he climbs Mt. Everest (it's one of his life goals, apparently).  I don't know how serious he is, but I'd gladly join in!  I don't think I want to become a cliff hanger or anything, but a mountain doesn't sound so steep/bad... right?  Haha, I really don't know what I'm talking about here.... :D

 

His Peace,

Jake

So, at about 4:45 this morning a platoon sergeant hits the lights in the barracks and tells us to get in uniform and head down the road for a urinalysis (drug test).  After the announcement he proceeded to stand in front of our bay latrine so that we couldn't piss beforehand.  Normally I have to urinate with a severity as soon as I step out of my bed.  I praise the Lord Jesus Christ who reigns on high that, for the first time in the two months I've been here at Ft. Sam, my urinary tract wasn't aching for immediate release.  I grew more thankful throughout the morning, fore I had to wait in the urinalysis line for over 2 hours!  Poor souls who had to wait in line as long as me, whose bladders where in more dire states, could be heard saying things like, "I will fill 10 cups for you- just let me take a piss!" and, "I just want to piss for my country!  Is that too much to ask?!"

Ah, good times!  Now I'm released for the weekend :D

His Peace,
Jake